Currently writing down Frog Bride: The True Story, for a young Russian sorceress who wants to set the record straight on how it really came to be that she was turned into a frog by her father, and ended up marrying a prince.

Here’s how she began:

Do you remember the tale of how three tsareviches (or princes) were told to shoot an arrow and find a wife where the arrow had landed? The story goes that the youngest son’s arrow ended up in a swamp, where a frog who found it demanded he marry her. The prince didn’t want to have a frog for a bride (who would?) but he brought her home anyway, because he accepted that it was his destiny. In the end, the frog turned out to be a beautiful, powerful sorceress, turned into an amphibian by her evil wizard father who was jealous she was smarter than he was.

Yeah, right.

As if the sorceress was just dying to marry some ordinary human prince.

Now, let me tell you how it really happened.

At the least, I have to clear my poor papa’s tarnished reputation. He might have had highly unusual parenting methods, but he was NOT evil. Though of course, when he turned me into a frog, I did call him that. And much worse.